WHY ISN'T MY MARRIAGE WORKING THE WAY I WANT IT TO?

Marriage is one thing that baffles many people. The complexities of how two completely different individuals come together to form a family unit is a mystery even for those already married. Sadly, many marriages are collapsing, and several people want out.

If your marriage is going through a bumpy patch, it may be a good idea to look at the foundations you both laid at the beginning.

What constitutes a good foundation for marriage? Look at the ideas below.

1. Put God at the center, and keep him there.

Marriage is God's idea. He noted that Adam needed a helper, and went ahead to make one for him.

Geneses 2:22 "Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man." (NLT)

When Adam saw the woman, he was overjoyed! God loved him enough to make the perfect companion for him. Adam had no idea that he needed the woman until he saw her. Marriage was entirely God's idea then and remains so to this day.

Keep God at the center of your marriage. Remember that he is the one who brought you together and the only one who can keep you together. Pray together as you seek God's guidance for every decision. When you're mad at each other, ask God for help as you reconcile. Most importantly, ask God to help you love your spouse even when he or she is at their worst.

Do you feel like this is a tall order? God will give you the grace and strength you need to make your marriage work, as long as you keep him at the center.

2. Shared Values

At some point, the lovey-dovey feeling wears off. There will be seasons when you ask yourself if there is more to marriage then than love. During courtship, it is important to identify shared values that will sustain your relationship during hard times. Some of these values include faith in God, integrity, and honesty.

Amos 3:3 "Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?" (NLT)

If both of you do not agree on something as important as values, it is unlikely your union will survive. Shared values are what hold relationships together.

3. Common Goals

Marriage is a journey, an exciting journey where two people are walking together in the same direction. It's important for both spouses to agree on what they want to achieve as a couple. Examples would be starting a family, making investments, and helping the extended family. Focusing on the achievement of these shared goals will keep you together for a long time.

Ecclesiastes 4:9 "Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed."(NLT)

Key words here– they can help each other succeed. Your spouse should be your biggest cheerleader. Stories are told of husbands who have educated their wives, and wives who have motivated their husbands to excel in the workplace. Identify your common goals, and work hard to achieve them.

The success of every marriage depends entirely on God. Are you prepared to invest in your marriage to make it succeed, and to let God make you into the wife or husband that he desires you to be? Can you honestly say God is in charge of your marriage?

Have a blissful week, as you focus on improving your marriage. All the best!

Did you miss last week's reflection? Here you go -Are we condemned to bad leadership?

Interested in a different topic? Look at this one - Setting a good example

ARE WE CONDEMNED TO BAD LEADERSHIP?

Today's reflection starts with a personal vent. I am tired of the way this country's leadership is treating its citizens. People are starving, and those who have access to food can barely afford it. Clean drinking water is a luxury in arid areas, yet it is a basic need for survival. The culture of selfishness is deeply entrenched in our government, rather than the culture of service and selflessness. Think about it – why do you have to pay a bribe to get a basic service?

Why am I venting? I'm venting because the people ‘up there' are not affected by drought, water shortages, cost of living, joblessness, poor market conditions and lack of health services. They do not feel the pinch at all!

Dear Church of Christ, we have two choices. We can sit back and watch our country go to the dogs, or start praying for our leaders. God is waiting for us to call on him to change things in our government.

Hold on - why should we pray for our leaders?

1 Timothy 2: 2 "Pray this way for kings and all who are in authority so that we can live peaceful and quiet lives marked by godliness and dignity." (NLT)

If we pray for our leaders, they will do things the RIGHT way, and we can all live in peace!

So, what should we pray for?

1. Pray for God to guide the hearts of our leaders.

Proverbs 21:1 "The king's heart is like a stream of water directed by the LORD; he guides it wherever he pleases." (NLT)

Although God has the power to control the hearts of our leaders, he requires that we pray and ask him to do so. Get on your knees and pray for God's will to prevail in the actions of the leaders around you.

2. Pray for the leaders to submit to God.

Every leader must recognize that God put them in power. The guiding verse for every leader should be;

John 3:30 "He must become greater and greater, and I must become less and less. " (NLT)

If you listen to some of the leaders' utterances carefully, you will note that they are full of themselves. Pray for each one to remember where they started from, to acknowledge who put them in power, and to look to God for guidance as they lead.

3. Pray that our leaders treat us the way they want to be treated.

Luke 6:31 "Do to others as you would like them to do to you." (NLT)

Many leaders forget that they cannot lead forever and that they will one day go back to regular status. Every leader must, therefore, treat those under him with the respect that they deserve. Note that leaders who treat their people well are spoken of fondly and treated with respect even when they are no longer in leadership.

4. Pray for our leaders to rule justly.

Proverbs 16:12 "A king detests wrongdoing, for his rule is built on justice." (NLT)

If you firmly believe that our country is not founded on justice, pray. Pray for our leaders to gather the guts to stand up to injustices and fight for what is right. Also, pray that those in influential positions will say no to corruption. Pray for our leaders to set an example of integrity for the rest of the nation, no matter what it takes.

Proverbs 29:4 "A just king gives stability to his nation, but one who demands bribes destroys it."  (NLT)

Pray for the restoration of justice and righteousness within our leadership.

5. Pray for wise leaders.

Every leader needs wisdom to make decisions that are in the best interests of the citizens. God's wisdom is, therefore, something that every leader should desire. Pray for our leaders to realize that they need God's wisdom to help them succeed in their endeavors.

Proverbs 11:14 "Without wise leadership, a nation falls; there is safety in having many advisers." (NLT)

Do not forget to pray for the people who surround your leaders; the ones they turn to for advice.

Back to the title – are we condemned to bad leadership? Yes, we are, if we do not do anything about it. If you are already in leadership, the points above will show you how to be a leader who pleases God. If you are an ordinary person like me who believes in the power of prayer, get on your knees and pray for your leaders. 

The future of this country lies in our hands.

Did you miss last week's reflection? Here it is - It's time to grow up!

Interested in reading about something else? Check this out - Life Lessons from the Ant

IT'S TIME TO GROW UP!

It is interesting to watch a seed grow into a plant. Once the seed is put into the ground, natural processes take over, and it begins its transformation. This process cannot be stopped, as that is what God created the seed for – to grow.

So, following the example of the seed, the Christian is also expected to grow. Remaining in the same place and doing the same things you were doing a few years ago is not what God intended for you.

So how does the Christian grow?

a. Germination

Once the seed of faith in Christ is planted in your heart, it must be watered so that it can grow. This seed must be watered regularly, and fed with the right nutrients to speed up its growth.

1 Peter 2:2 "Like newborn babies, you must crave pure spiritual milk so that you will grow into a full experience of salvation…" (NLT)

What is this pure spiritual milk? This pure milk is the word of God, which one must feed on daily to grow in the faith. The Bible is God's manual for the Christian life, with detailed instructions on how to live as a Christian.

Psalm 1:2 "But they delight in the law of the LORD, meditating on it day and night." (NLT)

Do you want to move past the stage of a young Christian? Read the word, pray, and join a Bible-believing fellowship. 

b. Development

After germination takes place, tiny green shoots sprout, looking for sunlight to speed up their growth. Without the necessary ingredients for growth, it will die.

It is at this point that several Christians give up on their faith. The distractions of the world prove to be very enticing and overwhelming, causing many to fall away. 

1 Samuel 3:19 "As Samuel grew up, the LORD was with him, and everything Samuel said proved to be reliable."(NLT)

Samuel was a young man growing up at a time when nobody cared much about the Lord, just like the present day. He however stuck to his faith, and God rewarded him by establishing him as a prophet well respected by the people.

Like Samuel, you must decide whether you want to live for the Lord. Resolve to grow in your faith and to develop your relationship with God.

Hebrews 6:1a "So let us stop going over the basic teachings about Christ again and again. Let us go on instead and become mature in our understanding. "(NLT)

It is time to move past the simple teachings that thrilled you as a new believer. It is time to learn more about God – how he thinks, what pleases him, and how to live for his glory. You may lose some friends at this point, but do not worry. God will give you others who share your desire to learn more about Christ. More importantly, he will walk beside you all through.

Psalm 138:8 "The LORD will work out his plans for my life – for your faithful love, O LORD, endures forever. Don't abandon me, for you made me." (NLT)

c. Maturity

The tiny little seed is now a fully-grown plant, ready to produce fruit. The growth journey has been quite long, but the little plant did not give up. All it needed was water, sunlight and a little fertilizer to keep it going.

A mature Christian is one who is no longer debating about following Christ. This kind of Christian now focuses on how he or she can draw people to Christ. Reading the Word, prayer, and fellowship is as important at this point as before. Note that the mature Christian must focus on, and balance between Christian growth and bearing fruit.

 Philippians 4:8 "And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing.fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise." (NLT)

The apostle Paul gives the tips above to Christians who are faced with attacks from the world daily, and need to focus on Christ to gain victory. Think about it – if one focuses on all the things listed in the verse above, there will be nothing else to think about!

John 15:8 "When you produce much fruit, you are my true disciples. This brings great glory to my Father. "(NLT)

The Christian who is deeply rooted in the faith attracts people to Christ. That's the kind of fruit God wants.

Once the seed has germinated, grown and borne fruit, it dies. For the Christian, however, the growth process is continuous. Stay focused on Christ, and rely on him to help you keep growing him through the seasons of your life. He is faithful and will complete the work he has started in you.

Philippians 1:6 "And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns." (NLT)

Missed out on last week's reflection? Here it is - Wanjiku's Cry Continues

Would you like to read something else? Check this out - The Importance of Excellence

WANJIKU'S CRY CONTINUES

How was Wanjiku's week? Well, it started with a trip to the market to get supplies for her vegetable kiosk. On getting to the market, she was asked to pay a small ‘fee' to get in. She paid the fee, only to get into the market and find that the items she needed were beyond her budget.

Wanjiku went home after that, where she had left a sick child. She rushed to the local government facility, only to find that the doctors were still on strike.  You see, her child's condition requires that she see a doctor, not a clinical officer. She took her child home and then went to open her vegetable stall. After a few hours of business, some people passed by, demanding a ‘protection' fee from her, and shortly after, a council officer came along asking for the daily ‘fee' (the one that doesn't come with a receipt).

Wanjiku's life sucks. She is being oppressed left, right and centre. What can you, a Christian, do to help her? What can the church do?

1. Protect her from her oppressors

Isaiah 1:17 "Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans. Fight for the rights of widows." (NLT)

The verse above from Isaiah puts this very clearly – help the oppressed. Stand up for that person in your neighborhood who is being oppressed. For example, people are thrown out of their houses every day by property owners who don't abide by tenancy agreements and take advantage of their tenants' ignorance. Another typical example is that of child abuse and neglect. Why don't you do something about this? Be an instrument of change in your surroundings and be a voice for the voiceless.

Zechariah 7:10 "Do not oppress widows, orphans, foreigners, and the poor. And do not scheme against each other." (NLT)

Take the verse from Zechariah as a personal challenge. In one's daily dealings, it is very easy to oppress another person without realizing it. Oppression can take place anywhere, from not treating one's domestic workers well, to refusing to pay for goods and services.

Remember, an oppressed person is a stressed person. Give Wanjiku the support she needs.

2. Ask God to deliver Wanjiku from her oppressors.

God hates people who oppress others. The following verse from Proverbs put this clearly:

Proverbs 22:16 "A person who gets ahead by oppressing the poor or by showering gifts on the rich will end up in poverty." (NLT)

In God's eyes, the person who oppresses poor people will get his just reward, poverty. That's just the way it works in God's economy. He requires that we show love, concern, and respect for everybody, especially those who appear to be struggling in life. 

Christians need to take a prominent role in this area.  As a believer, you need to set an example for your peers, friends, and workmates on how to treat Wanjiku. The church also needs to be more welcoming to people from different walks of life. Pastors, stop focusing on church members who contribute significantly to your church's coffers. Every member of your flock is important.

Psalm 146:7a "He gives justice to the oppressed and food to the hungry." (NLT)

God's desire is that every person under oppression receives justice. It is the duty of the church to call upon him in prayer, asking for his help as they undertake the task of making Wanjiku's life better.

Christians, you could be Wanjiku's last and only hope. The challenge to you is to find out what you can do within your surroundings to help her out, as you prayerfully seek God for wisdom and resources for the task. As you do so, remember that Wanjiku is precious in the Lord's sight, just like you.

Psalm 9:9 "The LORD is a shelter for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble." (NLT)

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Did you miss last week's reflection? Check it out here - The Cry of Wanjiku

Interested in a different topic? Here is one for you - What Makes You Unique?

THE CRY OF WANJIKU

Kenyans all know the name Wanjiku, used as a symbol of the ordinary person. Wanjiku is the standard unit of normalcy, the person for whom the Constitution was crafted, the person being encouraged to vote, the person entitled to fundamental rights.

The question is, how does Wanjiku's life look like at present? First, she can barely afford to buy food because prices have skyrocketed. Secondly, she has no access to clean drinking water for herself and her family because of the drought. Third, she cannot get medical treatment at the local government hospital because of the doctor's strike. Fourth, she can hardly make enough from her vegetable sales at the local market because the spending power of the masses has reduced. On top of all that, Wanjiku has to contend with people around her who think that because she is a low-income earner, she has no voice.

Sadly, Wanjiku's plight is similar to that of many Kenyans. Could it be that her situation is a direct result of poor leadership, bad governance and all-out greed displayed by the leaders around her?

Wanjiku needs a defender. The church of Christ needs to step up and boldly take on this role. How can the Christian make a difference?

1. Be a Voice for Justice

Micah 6:8 "He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." (NIV)

Being a voice for justice doesn't only mean organizing demonstrations on the streets and getting your name in the local dailies. Though these are great avenues for justice, there are other things you can do in your local community. Have you ever thought to report that den of illicit brews at the edge of your estate? What about that little child left hungry for days as the parents go out carousing? Look around you. People are being treated unjustly all around you. What are you going to do about it?

Isaiah 1:17 "Learn to do right. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of the orphans. Fight for the rights of widows."(NLT)

2. Pray for Justice

Romans 12:19 "Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, ‘I will take revenge, I will pay them back,' says the LORD." (NLT)

Have you ever thought how terrible God's revenge must be? It is far beyond what one could ever imagine and has permanent, far-reaching effects. Why not let him do the job of exacting revenge on Wanjiku's enemies?

God cares as much about Wanjiku as you do, and feels pain when Wanjiku is treated unjustly; he will, however, fight for her only if the church petitions him on her behalf. Somebody has to pray for all the ‘Wanjikus' in this land to receive justice, and that person is you.

Proverbs 21:15 "Justice is a joy to the godly, but it terrifies evildoers." (NLT)

God can also change the hearts of those in power to make them see that Wanjiku is who they should be working for, rather than their own bellies.

Proverbs  21:1 "The king's heart is like a stream of water directed by the LORD; he guides it wherever he pleases."(NLT)

The hearts of those in leadership are in the hands of the Lord. As a Christian, however, you need to call on the Lord so he can take action.

Friends, the future of this country lies in the hands of the church. Let's assume the responsibility of seeking justice, fighting for justice, and praying for justice, so that our nation will prosper.

In conclusion:

Isaiah 30:18 "Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!" (NIV)

Missed last week's reflection? Check it out here - http://alisonkiriinya.blogspot.co.ke/2017/02/the-christian-at-work.html

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THE CHRISTIAN AT WORK

Every morning, millions of people leave their homes to go and make a living. The pressure of having to meet daily needs makes it necessary to earn some income. When things get busy, however, it is tempting to forget that God has opened that door for employment or business for a reason. What are God's expectations of you in your workplace or business premises?

1. You are God's representative

Colossians 3:17 "And whatever you do or say, do it as  a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving  thanks through him to God the Father.? (NLT)

According to this verse from Colossians, God expects that in everything you do, God must be represented. Think about an ambassador, whose job is to represent the ruler of the country he is from and speak on his behalf.  This envoy does not put forth his own agenda, but that of the person he represents

Similarly, the Christian is God's ambassador in the marketplace. Your peers and colleagues will be looking at you to see how well you represent the Lord, especially in your attitude towards work. The challenge is to be an able and trustworthy ambassador for the Lord.

2. You are God's employee

Everyone who works has an employer, whether one is formally employed, or self-employed. There is, however, a greater master, God, the one who opens the door for income generation in the first place.

Colossians 3:23 "Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people." (NLT)

When you work for the Lord, and not for men, you get more satisfaction from your task, knowing that you are pleasing Him. After all, the Lord is the one who graciously gives the opportunities to earn an income.

Deuteronomy 8:18a "But remember the LORD your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth." (NIV)

3. You are God's example

Not many individuals out there know how to behave with integrity in the marketplace. Aren't you glad, however, that your Father guides you on how to handle yourself? Well, God does so with the aim of making you a shining light that will draw men to him.

Matthew 5:16 "In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father."(NLT)

Are there people around you who ask why you conduct your business in a certain way? Do your co-workers ask what drives you to excel in the workplace? Use that opportunity to tell them about Christ, the one who gives you the strength and wisdom to work well.

Being a Christian at work is not just about making money to meet your needs. There is a reason why God has placed you there. Be his representative, employee, and example, and make a difference in the lives of those who surround you in the daily hustle.

Did you miss last week's reflection?  Check it out here. http://alisonkiriinya.blogspot.co.ke/2017/02/what-makes-you-unique.html

WHAT MAKES YOU UNIQUE?

WHAT MAKES YOU UNIQUE?

Everybody knows that he or she is unique in some way. The question is, do you know what makes you different from other people? Have you ever thought that God has a hand in your uniqueness? Listed below are a few points to give some insight on this.

1. Everyone is created in God's image, by God himself.

Genesis 1:27 "So God created man in His own image, in the image and likeness of God He created him; male and female he created them." (AMP)

According to the verse above, everybody is created in God's image. Artists will tell you that they get joy from looking at their finished works. This joy comes from the fact that no piece resembles any other; it is unique.

In the same way, God the creator made everyone different so that he could delight in his workmanship. There is, therefore, nobody on the earth who is exactly like you!

Isaiah describes God as the potter and his creation as the clay. No potter will make his pots look the same. There is always a difference, even if it is barely noticeable.

Isaiah 64:8 "Yet, O LORD, You are our Father; We are the clay, and You our Potter, And we all are the work of Your hand." (AMP)

2. God knew you before you were born.

Jeremiah 1:5a "I knew you before I formed you in your mother's womb," (NLT)

How is it possible for God to have known you before he formed you? Simple. God knew what kind of person he wanted to create, so he came up with the ‘blueprint' before starting the actual formation process.

Psalm 139:16 "You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed." (NLT)

God already knew how each day of your life would turn out before you were born. This truth is very encouraging especially to those who are going through tough times. God knew the hard days would come along, and promises to walk with you through them.

3. God created you for a unique purpose.

Ephesians 2:10 "For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago." (NLT)

Look at the words of this verse in another version.

"For we are Gods handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."(NIV)

Now that you know that there is nobody else on this earth like you, wouldn't it be great to know why you were created? Well, God created you to do particular good works, or more accurately, works that only YOU can do.

Prophet Jeremiah, when he received his calling, heard these words from the Lord.

Jeremiah 1:5 "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations." (NIV)

Just as the Lord knew that Jeremiah would be a prophet way before he created him, He knows why he created you. If you aren't sure of your purpose in this life, now would be a good time to seek the Lord's direction on this.

4. God gives everyone different gifts.

In an ant colony, every little ant has a job that it must do for the colony to thrive and survive. Likewise, each person has a job to do, either in the family, workplace, and church or even in society.

1 Peter 4:10 "God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another." (NLT)

Romans 12:6a "In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well." (NLT)

Think about a school. There are teachers to instruct the students, but also other members of staff who ensure that the operations of the school run smoothly. The kitchen staff, cleaners, administrative staff and security team are crucial to the success of the school.

Similarly, each person must make use of their unique gifts for the benefit of the people around them. Each gift has its place, and if used wisely, will bring glory to the Father.

Now that you know how different you are from everyone else, go ahead and celebrate your uniqueness. Utilize the talents God has given you to help someone. Most importantly, live a life that pleases God, one that will make him glad he created you.

Did you miss last week's reflection? Here it is - http://alisonkiriinya.blogspot.co.ke/2017/01/life-lessons-from-ant.html