3 CUNNING LITTLE MOLES THAT RUIN MARRIAGES

A thriving marriage is one that is to be envied. Marriages, however, face challenges from within and without. Today's short reflection will focus on three moles that quickly find their way into marriages, but are very hard to recognize. Enjoy the read!

1. Soul Ties

Did you know that you are linked to everyone with whom you share physical intimacy, whether or not you marry the person? Sexual intimacy binds hearts together – that was God's initial intention. Look at the verses below:-

Genesis 2:24 "This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one." (NLT)

Therefore, a man and woman who share in physical intimacy when married become one flesh. On the other hand;

1 Corinthians 6:16a "And don't you realize that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her?" (NLT)

Though this point may sound shocking to most people, it is the truth. You are joined to anyone and everyone you have ever shared physical intimacy with.

Memories of your physical encounters can affect your marriage negatively, as there will always be the temptation to compare your current partner with a previous one. In addition, physical intimacy creates a spiritual connection between the two parties.

Break whatever soul ties you may have with old flames through prayer. Be honest with your spouse about your past, and commit to starting over and staying faithful in your current relationship. Most importantly, be aware the enemy uses soul ties to destroy stable marriages. Fight the battle on your knees!

2. Emotional Infidelity

Cheating on your spouse without sleeping around is possible!

How does emotional infidelity work? It all starts with a simple date with someone of the opposite sex, where you talk about general stuff. The date goes so well that you decide to meet again. After all, everything is innocent. Within no time, you are sharing intimate personal details about your marriage, your family, and your life. After a while, you become attached to each other and distant from your spouse, with your most important relationship outside your marriage!

To prevent the creation of emotional attachments outside your marriage, set boundaries for yourself, and your friends of the opposite sex. Cut down on the intimate chats and private dinners. If possible, have your spouse come along when meeting your friends. 

Double dates can also work well, as long as everybody gets along. Most importantly, spare the private chats for your spouse, that's what he or she is there for!

The verse below summarizes this point well.

Hebrews 13:4 "Marriage is to be held in honor among all [that is, regarded as something of great value], and the marriage bed undefiled [by immorality or by any sexual sin]" (AMP)

3. Selfishness

"I got a spouse so that I could have someone to meet all my needs."

"I married someone who could take care of me."

"I want someone to keep me company on this journey of life."

Do the above statements sound familiar? If you ask most people to give their reasons for wanting to get married, the above reasons will make up part of the list. The question is how many people realize that marriage is not about having their needs met, but meeting the other person's needs?

Philippians 2:3 "Don't be selfish; don't try to impress other. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don't look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too." (NLT)

There is absolutely no way your spouse can meet all your needs. If that is what you are expecting from your marriage, there will be lots of strife in your home. Do not wait to be served, but instead be a helper, encourager, supporter, and friend to your spouse.

James 3:16 "For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind." (NLT)

Jealousy between spouses these days is unfortunately very common these days. Couples should realize that they achieve more when they work together than when they are always trying to outdo each other. There is nothing as emotional as watching a husband cheering on his wife as she receives a prestigious award, or a wife clapping for her husband as he graduates with a master's degree! Be your spouse's cheerleader.

The three cunning little moles above can destroy any relationship in a very short time. Now that you know what they are, take care not to let them damage your marriage! Get rid of these cunning moles before they kill what means most to you!


Missed last week's reflection? Check it out here - More marriage myths!

Take a look at the first article in this series - why-isnt-my-marriage-working-way-i-want